He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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