You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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