I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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