So drunk, too bad you don't want this
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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