"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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