You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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