You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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