you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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