You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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