Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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