i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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