I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
this is an emotional support booty call
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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