is your mom at the bar?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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