a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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