theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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