On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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