yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize