just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
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If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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