You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
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I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
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If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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