We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize