Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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