I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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