My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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