i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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