We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
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We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
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Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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