There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
How does it feel to date your dad?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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