Ketchup is God's man juice
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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