I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
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my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
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I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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