Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
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Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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