No awkward lesbian experiences without me
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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