I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
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I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
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I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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