The maid of honor just puked.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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