Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize