i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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