I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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