areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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