Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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