The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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