went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
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