I hate all girls vehemently.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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