Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
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Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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