I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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