if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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