i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
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remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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