I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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