Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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