How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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