I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize