You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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