There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
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Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
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The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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